This was a little short story I wrote a couple months ago I liked it. Let me know what you think.




To be Stoic


I awoke feeling very stoic today, of course being a man of very limited intelligence I had to get a dictionary and look up what stoic meant. Once again owing to the fact that I have quite a small mind I did not fully comprehend the definition of stoic. As best as I could tell, it had something to do with gargoyles. Now, I do not have a great love for gargoyles, but when you wake-up feeling a certain way, I feel that it is best to act that way until the feeling passes. One might ask, “how is that you can feel and then act like a gargoyle”? This is indeed the question that I asked myself, I thought back to my days in school and all that I had learned of gargoyles. Sadly I did not remember much, I ran in circles hoping that the exercise would stimulate the part of my brain where I stored information about gargoyles. This was a fruitless endeavor though. I could think of very little in regards to gargoyles. I knew that they were on churches and more often then not they were quite ugly, generally speaking of course. I knew of several local churches that I could hang out at, but there was this issue of becoming ugly. While I was not blessed with much of a mind, I was given the gift of slightly above average looks. It would not be an easy task to make myself as ugly as a gargoyle, but I was up to a challenge. Challenges can be very fun, I find that they make me feel that I’ve done something great when I accomplish them, however, I feel pathetic and down-trodden when I do not rise to the challenge. Maybe that’s why I quit playing with Rubik’s cubes.
I placed a grey trench-coat over my broad shoulders; I used cardboard and an old headband to attach horns to my slightly balding head. I spent nearly an hour staring in the mirror practicing my gargoyle face, I twisted it at all kinds of angles. I crossed my eyes, flared my nostrils, and stuck my tongue out as though I was wild. With a minor adjustment to my costume, I added a pitch-fork, which was actually part of my salad tongs, I felt ready to meet the world. Truly, no better gargoyle could be portrayed. As I stood by the door ready to head to the nearest church, a strange feeling came upon me; it was a sense of accomplishment. I had risen to the challenge and became the stoic gargoyle that I felt inside. But I no longer felt stoic, I now had a feeling of self-actualization. Looks like I need my dictionary again.

Markham (Aug 16. 2007)